from the noodle of doodles
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Rebecca" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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08:35 pm
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Fusilli pasta really IS silly!
It's amazing how good a REEEEAL workout can make one feel.
Things at work have been the same ridiculous levels of stress, but I won't go into that.
I'm going to do a few more hours of school work, and for once get more than 5 hours of sleep... so there. I reaeeeeeallly want to go in this Saturday to get some things done since the Mr. is working, but I am going to force myself to do fun things instead of going to work.
Oh yeah, also, snow days & shopping with Mom can sure do wonders for a girl.
Now all I need is a trip to my hair girl, and I'll be set.
O, and my boyfriend really is great... he is. Details? Later... maybe...
Really.. back to work... and maybe a snack, too.
(I want coffee ALL the time now... is that sick? It is. I would kill for a short latte right now... well, maybe dismember, not necessarily kill... unless it was a zombie. I'd kill zombies all day for free, but coffee would help fuel the zombie-slaughter.)
Current Mood:  energetic
Current Music: The Office... yay
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07:29 pm
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Daggumit.
...just when a girl thinks things are going her way, or about to head that way for a little bit.
As Junie B. Jones says, "poop."
Current Mood: deflated
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11:52 am
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Braaaaaains...
I'm hungry.
I've been REALLY good lately, in an effort to be in better shape than ever despite my ridiculously demanding job. Teachers are supposed to be hot, right? So there. I've even bought a new swimsuit that will look fabulous on me, to help stick to my goals.
Writing report cards is terrifying...especially when you keep putting it off.
As of the 5th, I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months... I kinda can't believe it. At first what seemed like a "there's no way a guy that awesome would be interested in me," "ok this is really really fun and almost too easy," has become a real, actual "this is still getting better every day" and "wow, he comes over to cut & paste & help with school stuff and listen to me whine" relationship. I LOVE this kid.
Time for some oodles of noodles, methinks. I've been good, and it will be salad every day at school since there's no time to cook, so Becky will indulge in salty, fried noodles today. MMmmmmmmmM!!
Current Mood:  hungry
Current Music: Food network.. not helping with the hunger thing
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12:42 am
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zombie...
Hey!
I'm still alive... though often appearing to be more of the walking dead. I've had a persistent cough, for about 2 weeks now... I think I'm getting pneumonia, if I don't have it already... the pirate boyfriend was once an EMT, and has promised to check my lungs upon his return from work (next week), but he says the rattling in my chest is NOT a good indication. Hm. Nice to have health insurance now, but unfortunately, no time to go to the doctor's. Hmm..
I'm still teaching, and getting slightly better at it...? survived 2 formal observations & my mid-year evaluation (it was actually pretty good, to be honest, but it's a very long story).
Now, putting off going to bed, for some reason, even though my body is aching and screaming for some rest, and for once I have the opportunity to actually get some.
PS - my boyfriend sucks.. he'll be working (3 hours away) the entire week I have off for break.
PSS - he's great though
PSSSSssssss - I'm great, too, just so you know
Current Mood: exhausted
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09:13 pm
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...
...When I leave for work in the morning, it is dark.
...When I leave to come home in the evening, it is dark.
It is still officially "summer," and I am not living in one of those places where it's dark for days at a time... I'm just working longer than 12 hours at school EVERY day, AND I had to buy one of those little wheelie carts that teachers have because I'm bringing so much work home even after all those hours in the classroom.
I wonder how on earth I can keep this up.
Current Mood: drained
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09:45 pm
[Link] | Survived a week plus(ish) teaching first grade so far.
....
What more to say? It's impossibly hard, and my hair looks AWESOME but will get me in trouble with people who are watching my every move and I've never been more tired or frustrated or BROKE in my life. (Figures, I finally start getting "real" paychecks and I've already spent several of them (before they've even come) in order to set up my room).
So, that's it. Ms.F is busy busy busy, and tired and an official real teacher.
We're racing his boat this weekend!
Rambly, disconnected, past bedtime. ::pbbth:: There you go.
Current Mood: exhausted
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08:29 pm
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skeeters & sails & too much sun
Recently I have learned several things.
1. I get seasick. (Ok, so it was bloody HOT and we were heeled over no less than 30 degrees ALL damn day, and we were going to weather the whole way, and in the open bay it was CHOPPY, but I felt like a wimp & what kind of pirate gets seasick? I blame the heat, at any rate).
2. My boyfriend does awesome things like make his boat stop making me feel seasick, keep us safe in WICKED storms while caught in them in open water, and do boring physical work in my classroom without a complaint.
3. Getting caught in WICKED thunderstorms on open water is kind of scary. Ok, he wasn't scared in the least... I was a bit nervous.
4. When some teachers retire, they leave a mess in their room and expect that a first year teacher doesn't have better things to do than spend entire DAYS going through their junk, cleaning their walls, and organizing.
5. They weren't kidding when they said it takes a few thousand dollars to get your classroom set up... and then that you'll spend a few thousand on supplies, too, as the year goes on. I reckon I make about $6-10 thousand less than I actually get "paid."
6. People think I'm going to do really really well as a teacher.
7. Teenagers are bad. I don't want one, ever. (My hunny's nephew has been with him for the summer and took advantage of my hunny's house and trust and MY CAR while we were away sailing the past few days. Among other things,THEY TOOK MY CAR. He & his little girl-toy (who's been sleeping over on my hunny's boat with the nephew since their first "date") are still lying about it, but it is very very obvious what happened. I hate seeing him so upset, he looked at this kid as a son/brother/friend... and the selfish boy just walked all over him. I'm beyond furious... we know they were drinking, too... and don't know if that involved my car/driving.).
8. Some things are fun outside, on a boat, in the middle of open water, in the middle of the night, after wicked storms.... 'nuff said.
I have a meeting ALL day tomorrow... guess I should get going.
Current Mood:  anxious
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12:33 pm
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hey survey, it's been a while, old friend
i am not: being terribly productive today.
i hurt: when I make other people hurt... when I'm a crankypants...
i love: my family, my friends, my boyfriend, teaching, ice cream, sailing, coffee, sweaters, wind, the color yellow, polka dots... i just love.
i hate: being grouchy, worrying about every damn thing, being jealous for NO reason.
i hope: I will survive my first year teaching while still being healthy, skinny, sane, and having time to spend with all the people I love.
I hear: birds singing outside.
i crave: a shower, actually.. i just finished a workout. His arms.
i regret: sleeping in so much lately.
i cry: rarely.. but I'm a big softie...
i care: too much.
i always: am up for a snack, a movie, a cup of coffee, or splashing in puddles.
i long to: be in Canton with him, but I have things to do.
i feel alone: not very often anymore...
i listen to: lately, a great deal of Wicked, because I read the book and it was awesome.
i hide: when I'm upset sometimes, but usually not very well.
i drive: the marvelous HMS Banana, and sometimes I drive a boat (though if you want to be technical, it's not really "driving")
i sing: badly, loudly, in the car.
i dance: even worse than I sing.
i breathe: a sigh of relief to have a job, a family, friends, a great man, my health, and all the things I'm sooo blessed to have.
i play: often... why be so serious all the time? Enjoy yourself.
i miss: people, fencing, making music.
i learn: all the time, as much as I can, because it's the most important thing in the world.
i know: I will be an incredible teacher. I will not be hurt by this man as I have by the others. My family will always be there. I am a superhero.
i fail: to believe that people cannot control their cruelty... stop making excuses for being nasty and just be NICE!
i succeed at: baking, cooking, making cocoa, being nice, listening, teaching, looking good in a suit or a t-shirt or a dress or nothing at all, having willpower when I want to, whatever I put my mind to.
i dream: about doing more than I used to think a person could accomplish in a lifetime... and now I have a feeling I can do it all.
i sleep: better with him than without.
i wonder: if I will actually get anything done today. ..and where I put those cards...
i want: to have an innate knowledge of exactly what to do and not be so unsure/undecided all the time.
i worry: too much.
i wait: by the phone NO more! (And even better, I don't have to...)
i need: to return some of my overdue books to the library.
i am: indescribable.
i think: it's going to be a very busy, very good year.
i can't help the fact that: I've fallen hard.
i stay: because I want to.
Current Mood: I need to get things done!
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03:35 pm
[Link] | So, um... guess who will be teaching first grade in the fall... in a few weeks, actually?
(I'm giving you some time to think here...)
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Give up?
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Yes, MEEEEEE!
Interesting. I really really really should catch up more often. It's been one hell of an eventful month. Oops.. better get back to watching my language, eh? It's been.. um.. a very busy month. Good busy. Teaching will just be BUSY. Send flowers & kisses anytime.
Current Mood:  accomplished
Current Music: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends (love me some cartoons)
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04:50 pm
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I opposite-of-hate you
I've done more fun/interesting/adventurous things in the last month or so of this relationship than in the entire life of others. There's a whole lot on the "to-do" list, too. Let's see:
- sailing/teaching together (including the insane Chestertown trip!!)
- camping in Cape May - all the being scared, the exploring, cooking, kayaking, wine, swimming, etc
- sailing sailing sailing
- A few-day visit to the Bewdley plantation - HUNDREDS of acres and lots of cool things to explore them with (like the John Deere Gator... woooo!), a river, a few dozen really interesting people (2 brought turntables & mixed in the woods at night... wicked), craaazy illegal fireworks, friends, his family, a mansion house from 1757, a library just about as old, antiques, incredible food, etc
- His sister's HUGE fantastic beach house in NC in about a week
- museums, concerts, etc (Guster coming up on his boat in a few days!)
- The Italian film festival starting tomorrow night
- VEGAS in 2ish weeks (4 star hotel, baby! ow ow!)
- sailing to New England for a week or so - he's trying to teach me to do bluewater sailing, navigation, standing watch, using the autopilot, etc, so he can hire me as crew when he's doing deliveries to the British Virgin Islands in the winter (yes, we'll be getting paid to take people's yachts, sail them to the BVI, and pretty much have another amazing vacation together)!
Also, we're talking with the Living Classrooms Foundation... which is now my first choice/planA/"I REALLY want to do this!"... I mean, I'll be spending the rest of my life chained to a classroom, why not teach some underpriveleged kids while sailing and painting and planting flowers while I'm young & healthy?
I.am.so.crazy.about.him.it's.absolutely.frickin.unbelieveable...
We had people over for the 4th of July & It was one of the best gatherings we've had in a while. Aside from the bugs & the HEAT (which you think I'd be getting used to by now), everything was fun. There was a ton of great food, my cookies were the BEST I'd ever made (all the double batches were gone before dinner time!), Cowboy had a blast playing outside with everyone, my hunny was adorable rounding up people to play wiffleball and being just the best guy on the planet, his nephew even managed to have a good time amongst the 20-some (?) strangers, Danny got to come & impress everyone with his portfolio, and it was just about perfect.
In short... I am happy.. and maybe a bit in love... ok, a lot of both of those...
Current Mood:  blissful
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09:06 pm
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heat guns + small upstairs bedroom + summer weather + linoleum + masonry nails + him = FUN! (really)
Tuesday is the last day my boys are working on the boat. :( It's sad, and it's a long story that pretty much amounts to our director scheduling them to work 14-hour days, 7 days a week, not allowing them relief captains to take days off, and not paying them for working more than 40 hours a week. It's gotten quite ugly. It could be a really really really really really long story, so I'll leave it there. ANYWAY, among other things, this means instead of going to the tall ships gathering in DE, I'll be meeting the family in VA.
We had 4 cruises Thursday and I was firstmate all day. I was surprised at how much I knew and how much I really could do all on my own. We even had a potential emergency when a line snapped, and apparently I handled things perfectly. It was an exhausting day, but even with unbearable heat, some nasty passengers, a completely inept crewmember, and all the awful drama with the director & the guys getting ready to quit, I loved every minute I was on the boat.
Still freaking out about the lack of a job. ...and a possibly perfect plan B falls into my lap. My hunny knows maaaany people in other nonprofits, and a bunch of sailors, etc etc... he suggested introducing me to his friends at Living Classrooms - an education based nonprofit similar to ours, but they're MUCH bigger AND they pay their educators & crew!! That would just be the coolest thing ever, still GREAT on my resume, I'd be getting PAID for it, and I don't think the timing could possibly be better. ::crosses fingers:: I'm hoping this works out.
Current Mood: my brain is racing!
Current Music: the mice running around in my ceiling.
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08:32 am
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holy frijoles, batman!
Again, what did I get myself into?
I volunteered for the Gathering of Tall Ships Festival in Wilmington, Delaware. Ok, not so much volunteered as the boys dropped many hints that they had NO volunteers for the ENTIRE 6-day festival, and me, being me, said, "do you guys want me to go...?" and before I finished my sentence they were practically jumping up and down. Our firstmate said that aside from me being a big help on the boat, causing less drama than other volunteers, etc etc, he'd like to have me around to keep my hunny from getting grouchy during the trip. Chestertown was a BUNCH of fun, way better than I expected, but I'm a bit apprehensive about this one. This is a 6-day deal instead of 3, it's in JULY instead of May, and as far as little details like showers... the boys have NO information. Hmmm... Again, as anything else, it'll certainly be an adventure. My hunny spent some time working as an EMT, so he promised to do his best to keep me alive whenever I unavoidably wind up with heat stroke.
Our first mate said he thinks I'm ready for more responsibility and wants to move me up from regular deckhand/crew to firstmate status. COOOOOL! Tomorrow we've got cruises ALL damn day, and he'll be acting as relief captain so I'll be firstmate. I'm so terribly excited I can hardly contain myself. It's probably not a big deal to anyone in the world but me (ok, the boys are pretty proud of me, too, I guess), but I'm really happy about it.
Sooooo, come out and see me sometime! Visit our website skipjackmarthalewis.org, call us, book a trip, etc... it's SO much fun, and you can watch me be an awesome sailor. O! Funny story... one of the teachers I know from around came out with us with his class. He told his wife (who works with Dad), that all the girls in his class and the female teachers from his school who'd gone out with their classes wanted to go back out on the boat because they thought my man was super hot. His wife then looked him up online to verify, agrees, and now wants to meet him. We get ladies all the time who come out and offer the boys big tips or just simply insist that they provide entertainment by removing clothes. There were a few volunteers over the years who've tried to claim him as theirs, too.... everybody wants my pirate-boyfriend.
Off to shower, do applicaton stuff, then we're going to his place to work... we're redoing a few rooms. I have total creative control of design. Sweeeeet!
Current Mood:  determined
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09:06 pm
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As Jen would say, I'm one smitten kitten
Yellow roses AND a fresh pineapple (cleaned & chopped) upon my arrival yesterday.
Then, "I'm taking you out," so we take an evening walk to Little Italy for a great dinner at a hidden little gem of a place, get dessert at a little bakery & plop on a bench to watch other locals play ball & cover ourselves & each other in chocolate.
I don't have a chance.
I didn't from the beginning, I'm pretty sure.
Scarier, I could go on for a LONG time... I really reeeeally like this boy.
O, and as for the interview... they never called this morning, so I think it's yet another sign that the school was NOT a good match for me. ::sigh::
Current Mood: giggly
Current Music: cheesecake!
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08:38 pm
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dilemmonade
So, life was getting easy. I moved on, a boy I really like fell right into my lap. I got a job at Huntington, and, since I hadn't heard from any of the districts in GA, resigned myself to apply to Harford County for the fall. This even seemed like a better plan, since I have TONS of support, and am so familiar with all the programs it would be a great starter year... like teaching with training wheels.
Then I get a call from Fulton County, GA. They want me. My application is at the top of their pile. They want a phone interview ASAP (Wednesday morning)...
I'm not sure what I want anymore, and I don't have much time to decide. A certain boy I know is trying desperately to convince me to stay, and as much as I'd LOVE to continue what we have and see where it goes, I can't base a decision on that... and I definitely won't.
Let's do this:
GA.................................................................................................................................MD
- adventures! - support from people who know me
- new place, new people - familiarity with programs, policies, etc of the district
- living "on my own" - romantic/sailing/traveling adventures!
- Atlanta is supposed to be amazing - Baltimore isn't so bad...
- Danny! - my hunny, my family
- better pay, lower cost of living - saving money living at home
Damn, that was no help at all... I keep thinking of more things, but there's one for each list, and I can't seem to tip the scales one way or another.
The weekend was amazing. We went to Cape May to go camping, kayaking, hiking, running around on the beach, and had the best time ever! I didn't wear any makup, did pretty much nothing with my hair, spent the whole time covered in bugspray (and STILL bugs, dammit!) and my good ol' hoodie and felt totally comfortable and even CUTE! Mornings started with birds, sunshine, blueberry pancakes, coffee, and assorted yummy other goodies. We had incredible food ALLLLL weekend (he's a woooonderful cook!), and just the best best best time together. It's getting a little scary...
Current Mood: smittenconfusedscaredAAAAH!
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09:48 pm
[Link] | Wow... that was an amazing weekend.
I just got home for the first time since 6:30 Saturday morning... and almost didn't come home tonight (I'm on the boat tomorrow).
Wow.
More later. I'm beyond exhausted. There isn't a part of my body that isn't screaming in pain. I love it.
Current Mood: giggly
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10:57 pm
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Anyone for tea?
Packing packing packing.
I'm leaving at 6:30 in the morning for Chestertown. I'm excited & nervous & a bunch of other things.
Chestertown involves: public cruises ALL damn day for 2 days, a VERY VERY packed town, sleeping on the boat with ALL the crew, being the ONLY girl on the crew, sleeping with ALL boys on a very small (ok, not so small, but small for sleeping in the summer with boys) boat, being 15 minutes from the nearest bath house, sharing said bath house with ALL the other people flooding into town (and being the only person who can't just hang it over & pee off the side of the boat), having no "real" bed (and does the term "coffin bunk" sound like a place you'd look forward to sleeping?), being eaten alive by bugs all day AND night, not being able to avoid windburn/sunburn/dehydration/ebola no matter how hard I try, having no electricity aka no blowdryer/phone charger/etc, being smelly and gross and cranky and burned and frizzy-haired and greasy and all of the above while spending 4 days STRAIGHT with the guy I'm seeing/with/whatever we are with nowhere to run or hide or anything... it also means sailing a bunch, spending 4 great days with him without goodbyes, meeting a bunch of really cool people, getting in trouble (this weekend is notorious for pranks, troublemaking, looting & pillaging, etc), and having the type of adventures that no one else i know has had (aside from our crew who has built this up to be the coolest weekend EVER!).
This is the HARDEST trip I've ever had to pack for!! What does a girl bring that's practical, fits into a teeny tiny bag, can be worn in hot/cold/wet/windy/buggy/sunny/rainy/anything else weather, that is effortlessly adorable/hot... ack!
I'm leaving in 7 hours.
I need to sleep sometime but I'm way too wound up and still trying to decide which last item to squeeze into my bag, and which ones to try to live without.... and AAAAAAAAAAAH!
Sooo if you're bored, come to Chestertown for the annual reenactment/celebration of the Chestertown Tea Party. (Yes, historians aren't sure it actually happened, but as the Irish say, "why ruin a good story with the truth?"). Aside from me & Martha Lewis & our crew, there will be vendors & food & music & yes, drinking, and canons and people being thrown in the water and ships being stormed and BEAUTIFUL weather and gorgeous boats and sailing and... come on, I'll be there. What more reason do you need?
Current Mood: buzzy buzz buzz
Current Music: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends (LOVE this show!!)
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03:36 pm
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My name is Edward Tulane. I was a broken rabbit & now I'm on the mend.
An evening sail around Baltimore, including all the twinkling lights of the harbor, yes, is romantic as all hell. The CRAZY winds had me hanging onto the high side, as the rail of the boat was in the water (he also held onto me, which might've led me to act a bit more scared than I actually was). I wouldn't normally sail during a small craft advisory, but he's the best sailor I know, he sails as a career and has done it in every type of boat & every type of water & every type of weather that exists, and Quest is built for bluewater sailing, so I blame the abject terror on my needing to get my sealegs back.
At any rate, it was a damn good night. I needed it... really challenging kids Friday, then 6 hours of mind-numbing training for work on Saturday morning. I feel better now. :)
So, read Kate DiCamillo's new book, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. Why? Glad you asked! Edward is a bunny made of china who is dearly loved by a girl, but who feels love for no one. Later, after the girl loses him, he is taken in by a string of others, whom he learns to love deeply, and feels the heartbreaking pain as each in turn is lost to him. He gives up and is proud of his lack of desire for another to own him and love him. He says he has loved, has been loved, and will not love again. In the doll shop where the story ends, he meets a doll whose outlook slowly leads him to open up again, saying "someone will come for me," and the ending beyond that is beautiful, but you have to read it.
I'm that damn rabbit.
I wouldn't say I'm in love now, but I used to be so proud of the fact that I didn't want anything to do with love again, that I didn't want someone to come for me. I, too, said I had loved, had been loved, and wouldn't love again. I'm feeling myself at least warming to the idea.
"The china rabbit's heart had begun, again, to open."
Read it. Read it, especially, if you've been broken too.
Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: birds, wind, and drizzle outside my window
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09:00 pm
[Link] | The bad thing about having such a good reptutation is getting stuck with the hard classes. "Becky can handle this class" and apparently no one else can be trusted to, so I rarely get nice kiddos if there's more than 1 teacher missing (which is pretty much ALWAYS).
Tomorrow is apparently "Becky appreciaton day," which is being celebrated after we finish up on the boat. Cuteness.
I mentioned how I was missing getting paid full for working a 1/2 day tomorrow AND the big lunch thing for teacher appreciation week, so it was promised that it would be more than made up to me tomorrow. I'm accepting gifts, flowers, salon trips, etc.
PS - I am giving up coffee for at least this week. Help me stick to it, kids, so I can keep what remains of the lining of my stomach.
Current Mood: amused
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10:03 pm
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Happy:
...Mother's Day!
...Graduation! ...especially for my roomies aka the best girls in the world!
It's weird to think I won't be going back there again. There will be no open apartment waiting for me, no one to visit... weird. Sad.
At my aunt's tonight for dinner, I asked for decaf when she offered to make coffee. My cousin, "DECAF?? How old are you?!" so I had regular. I have had WAY too much coffee of all sorts lately. I blame sailors... one in particular. Bad influences, the lot of 'em. Colleen banned me from coffee when I spent the night at her place Friday (and I really could've used some after that night!), which was sheer torture, as Mark had just gotten a new French Press & some goooooood expensive coffee & was excited about having someone to impress with it since Col can't stand the stuff.
So, pointless caffine-driven post. Good thing I have laundry & such to occupy myself with tonight while I'm buzzing around the house like a hummingbird.
Buzzz buzzz humm hummmm...
Current Mood: caffinated
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08:41 pm
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water water everywhere
When I got to the dock this morning, it was underwater. I didn't feel like wading through knee-deep icy water and trying to haul myself onto the boat in 50 degree windy weather, so we waited... the water was choppy and high, winds were crazy, so we called it a day. The principal was happy to not have to worry about the kids being out on the water in bad weather. We didn't have enough crew to both teach & sail in those winds anyway.
No work, no cruises, what to do? Coffee & a walk in Havre de Grace, then a day spent downtown. It felt like skipping school almost, which was fun. The DuClaw in Fells Point is even better than the one up here.. by like a million times. Mmm... We went to the Visionary Art Museum, which was incredible, and spent at least an hour in Barnes & Noble (most of that spent in the kids' section, of course. that was cute). I like that aside from getting down there, no driving is necessary;water taxis are fun, and I've always been a big fan of plain ol' walking. Maybe I could be a really good city girl. It helps to have a partner in crime (which I have in Baltimore, and will have in Atlanta).
I am exhausted!
I'm wishing graduation & the races didn't have to be the same weekend. I will be very very sad if graduation is inside for rain & I have to miss out on EVERYTHING.
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: rain outside
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